Can Psychotherapy Really Change Your Attachment Style? The Verdict is In.
Attachment theory and attachment styles have become almost kind of buzz words used in quizzes or self-help books. But it's not just a trend, it’s a psychological theory that’s been around for ages. Unfortunately, its popularity in the mainstream has left a lot of people with the wrong impression.
Whether you’ve got an anxious attachment, avoidant attachment or disorganized attachment, it’s something you’re stuck with for life. But here’s where you're wrong: Attachment styles are not set in stone. With the right kind of support, they can absolutely change.
At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we offer virtual attachment-based couples counselling that will help you and your partner break free from old patterns and build lasting bonds. Also, science is on our side.
Fixed Attachment Style is a Myth
Attachment theory provides us a useful framework to understand how early relationships shaped our ability to give and receive love. But many people use it as a label, rather than a lens. The truth is your attachment style is just how you were acclimatized. It's not a life sentence; we grow and evolve with time and effort just like our attachment styles.
Your brain learned to adapt to the patterns you experienced in your past relationships, like inconsistent emotional safety leaving you to develop anxious tendencies. If your brain can learn those patterns, it can just as easily unlearn and relearn new ones. Therapy offers a secure and attuned relationship that can facilitate these changes.
Tired of Avoidant Attachment Style? Rewire Your Brain
Thanks to your brain's neuroplasticity, you can configure and make remarkable changes. With consistent emotional support, your old attachment responses can be reformed into new and healthier ones.
Attachment-based therapy helps with the following:
Finding emotional triggers and work through them in real time
Understand how early relationship shapes current patterns and dynamics
Expressing needs and set boundaries in a safe setting
Rebuilding trust
The therapeutic relationship becomes a key factor in creating a safe space to reshape you and your partner's emotional blueprint.
What Science Says About Attachment Styles and Couples Therapy
Studies conducted on Emotionally focused Therapy (which is based on attachment theory) have yielded these results:
70–75% of couples experience significant improvements in relationship satisfaction
Changes are maintained long-term, with many partners reporting a shift towards a secure attachment style
Individuals going to therapy without their partner can develop earned secure attachment through consistent therapeutic support
Emotionally focused therapy is effective and long lasting because it goes deeper.
Achieve “Earned Secure” Attachment Style With Our Psychotherapists
What is earned security? It’s a powerful concept in attachment-based therapy that is used when someone develops emotional security later in life despite growing up with insecure bonds. This happens through relationships that focus on healing, like therapy.
Therapists trained in attachment-based therapy are experts at creating a space that is emotionally consistent, responsive, and safe. Over time, this helps with trust, regulating emotions and becoming more secure in their relationships. Real changes begin when you feel that emotional attunement with our therapists.
Every Session Counts
Working on your attachment style is a process that requires time, it’s not a quick fix. You don’t need to fix everything overnight to start feeling better. If you’ve struggled with emotional distance, fear of rejection, or repeating patterns in your relationships, attachment-based therapy can help you build something better—starting right where you are.
We offer virtual therapy for individuals and couples. With the help of our professionals, let’s move towards a more secure, connected relationship. Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation or a session with us today. We look forward to supporting you!
