When the Spark Fades: EFT Couples Therapy
The honeymoon stage in relationships is associated with thrilling experiences, passion and an eagerness to know everything about your new partner. But what happens when things stop becoming so exciting?
Well, that’s the normal progression of romantic relationships, the trade-off is stability and the security of a long-term relationship which is viewed as more valuable.
But that doesn’t mean the spark needs to fade out entirely.
There will always be peaks and valleys throughout your relationship, but persistent disconnect can be detrimental to your intimacy. When intimacy changes, it's not always just about sex, it's often emotional too. This can foster a lot of insecurity and frustration for each party.
All hope is not lost. You can learn to reconnect with your partner as your relationship changes through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). At our virtual psychotherapy clinic, we can offer virtual appointments for relationship counselling and marriage counselling, using EFT to rebuild not just physical intimacy but emotional as well.
Why Physical Intimacy Changes Over Time
The fact of the matter is that a lot of changes are just out of our control, life happens. Your career might be taking up more time, the growth of your family might be taking up a lot more energy, or the process of aging could be causing changes in libido and body image. Unprocessed trauma can also rear its ugly head when you least expect it. These traumas can be from a past or current relationship, and from emotional or sexual experiences.
These tend to be more surface-level causes that while they are important to acknowledge, never tell the full story. Emotional intimacy or the lack thereof is often the underlying cause of fading sexual intimacy.
EFT Addresses the Root Cause of a Fading Spark
What makes EFT so effective when compared to other techniques is that it goes much deeper. It explores how partners respond to one another, how these dynamics were formed and how unmet attachment needs have manifested, leaving each partner feeling alone.
How does EFT work?
By identifying negative interaction patterns or cycles.
Exploring emotional needs and insecurities.
Restructuring interactions to create a stronger bond that's secure and emotionally responsive to your needs.
Works to rebuild emotional intimacy
Emotional safety is the foundation of desire.
The connection among couples who feel emotionally secure, valued and seen becomes safer, leading to more spontaneous and meaningful physical intimacy. When you start to feel emotionally distant, desire naturally diminishes - it's a slippery slope.
Realigning Emotional Intimacy and Physical Intimacy
So, what does an EFT-informed couples therapy session look like?
Partners are guided with the help of the psychotherapist to express their vulnerable emotions in a way that does not trigger defensiveness or agitation and instead, invites empathy. They work to create a safe space that allows closeness and emotional intimacy. Understand the distinction between “performing” sexual acts versus experiencing authentic, in-the-moment connection. In turn, this realigns sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy.
No Intimacy in Your Marriage or Relationship? When and Where to Seek Support
It’s important that you remember you are not broken, you are not alone, and couples go through this all the time. Not feeling any emotional intimacy can feel very frustrating but with EFT techniques in relationship counselling, you can find out what’s really happening.
Here are some signs that may indicate that it might be time to meet with our therapist:
Sex is starting to feel routine and unemotional.
Resentment is building from unmet needs or unresolved conflicts.
You repeat the same pattern that doesn’t fulfil your emotional needs.
You and or your partner are avoiding physical closeness.
At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we can help you and your partner reignite that spark using our proven EFT techniques. We can help you reconnect your emotional intimacy at the root to make way for physical intimacy. It’s never too late to rebuild your relationship, making it feel safe, intimate, and alive.
Let’s work together to reignite that spark!
You can book a free 15-minute consultation with our experienced therapists if you have any further inquiries or book your first EFT-informed couples counselling session today.
