Parenting DEI: Managing Microaggressions at Work
Have you ever heard a “joke” at work about your parental leave or been questioned about your commitment because you are a parent? For many working parents, these subtle comments, known as microaggressions, are an everyday reality. They might seem harmless in the moment, but over time they can leave you feeling undervalued, excluded, and judged. The more they happen, the more they chip away at confidence and your sense of belonging.
Parenting is an important part of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), yet it’s often overlooked in workplace DEI conversations. When organizations fail to recognize biases toward parents, they don’t just harm individual well-being, they risk team performance, employee retention, and overall workplace culture.
Understanding Parental Microaggressions
Microaggressions are everyday remarks or behaviours that reflect bias toward someone’s identity. For parents, they might sound like:
“Must be nice to have all that time off for parental leave.”
“Can’t you just do the meeting later?” when it conflicts with child care.
“You’re probably too busy with the kids for this project.”
While they may not be intended to hurt, these statements reinforce harmful stereotypes about a parent’s competence or priorities. Over time, they can cause stress, isolation, and even limit career growth.
The Cost of Ignoring Them
For individuals: Heightened stress, self-doubt, and difficulty setting boundaries.
For teams: Reduced trust, collaboration, and psychological safety.
For organizations: Higher turnover, lower engagement, and missed opportunities to retain talented employees.
When microaggressions go unchecked, parents may feel forced to choose between their careers and caregiving, a choice that no one should have to make.
Strategies for Managing Microaggressions
For Parents and Allies:
Respond with curiosity: A simple, “What did you mean by that?” can prompt reflection without escalating tension.
Seek support: Connect with allies, mentors, or Employee Resource Groups for parents.
Name the pattern: When you notice recurring comments or behaviours, documenting them can help in conversations with HR or management.
For Managers:
Acknowledge parenting as a diversity dimension: Explicitly recognize caregiving in DEI statements and policies.
Lead with empathy: Ask, “What support would be helpful right now?” rather than making assumptions.
Protect boundaries: Respect calendar blocks for caregiving, avoid after-hours demands, and encourage flexible work options.
At the Organizational Level:
Offer training: Include parental microaggressions in DEI training to build awareness.
Model inclusion: Leaders should openly normalize parenting needs, like leaving early for school events or blocking off time for child care.
Create accountability: Include caregiving inclusivity in employee surveys, DEI goals, and leadership evaluations.
Replacing Microaggressions with Microaffirmations
Small, intentional affirmations can counteract bias and make parents feel valued:
“I appreciate you managing both work and parenting, it’s not easy.”
“Let’s make sure this meeting time works for your caregiving schedule.”
“Your perspective as a parent is valuable to this discussion.”
These statements help create a culture where parenting is seen as an asset, not an inconvenience.
Healing and Support
If you’ve been on the receiving end of microaggressions, you might feel frustrated, isolated, or start doubting yourself. Therapy can help you process these emotions, set healthy boundaries, and find ways to communicate your needs more effectively.
At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we work with individuals navigating workplace stress, identity-based bias, and the challenges of balancing caregiving with career. Together, we can help you reclaim your confidence and sense of belonging.
You Deserve a Workplace That Respects Every Part of You
Addressing microaggressions is not just about calling out harmful comments, it’s about creating environments where everyone, including parents, can thrive. Whether you’re seeking individual support or wanting to bring more awareness to your workplace, change is possible. Contact us to book a free 15-minute consultation with one of our trained therapists today.
