Why Generations Express Emotion Differently and How EFT can Help
Talking about emotions might feel natural for some and uncomfortable or unnecessary for others. A lot of that depends on when and how you were raised. While younger generations may be more open about mental health and emotional expression, older generations often grew up with very different expectations. What one person sees as honest sharing, another may interpret as oversharing or even as weakness.
To bridge these gaps, we need to understand how emotional expression is shaped and how therapeutic approaches like Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) can help create deeper connection and healing.
How Generations Express Emotion Differently
Each generation grows up with its own values, norms, and expectations around emotional behaviour. These are then further shaped by tradition, cultural trends, and historical context. For example:
Older generations, such as Baby Boomers or the Silent Generation, often value emotional restraint, privacy, and independence. Expressing strong feelings, especially sadness, vulnerability, or fear, may be viewed as inappropriate or weak.
Younger generations, such as Millennials and Gen Z, typically are more open and comfortable expressing emotions. They have grown up in a world where therapy, mental health awareness, and emotional openness are more normalized.
This generational gap can lead to tension in family dynamics, where older and younger members struggle to relate emotionally. One may feel dismissed or misunderstood, while the other feels overwhelmed or judged.
Types of Emotional Expression
Emotional expression can take many forms, and individuals tend to lean on specific styles that are shaped by their generation, culture, and upbringing:
Verbal expression
Talking openly about emotions; common in younger generations.
Non-verbal cues
Body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice; often used by those who struggle to verbalize emotion.
Suppression
Avoiding or minimizing emotions; usually seen in those raised with emotional restraint.
Indirect expression
Using sarcasm, humor, or passive-aggression instead of direct emotion.
How we express emotion is also deeply connected to emotional regulation, which is the ability to manage emotional intensity and response. When people lack this skill, they can become distant, shut down, or misinterpret others' feelings, leading to miscommunication.
How EFT Helps Bridge Generational Emotional Gaps
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured, evidence-based approach designed to help you and your loved ones reconnect through emotional safety and vulnerability. Based on Attachment Theory, EFT encourages you to identify your emotional patterns, understand where they come from, and build secure bonds through more honest and open communication.
Here’s how EFT can help across generations:
Builds Insight: You develop a deeper understanding of your emotional habits and the roles they play in relationships.
Heals Trauma: EFT helps process generational trauma and emotional wounds inherited from family histories.
Reshapes Expectations: Therapy opens space for redefining norms, letting go of outdated traditions, and forming more adaptive emotional strategies.
Strengthens Relationships: EFT creates emotional responsiveness and connection, healing relationships affected by misunderstanding or unmet needs.
Moving Forward with Compassion and Clarity
Recognizing generational differences in emotional expression isn’t about right or wrong, it’s a chance for insight, empathy, and growth. By understanding the influence of values, culture, and upbringing, and using tools like EFT, we can bridge emotional divides. Embracing change can strengthen relationships and help us connect through a shared emotional language, which is one of the most powerful forms of healing.
At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, our skilled RP Alysha Plaggemeier offers EFT in the form of both individual and family therapy. If you’re interested, book a free 15 minute consultation with her today to get you started on the path of growth.
