Why Self-Esteem in Kids & Teens Matters More Than You Think
We all want the kids in our lives to believe in themselves but what happens when they don’t? Low self-esteem in children and teens can show up in subtle ways: giving up easily, comparing themselves to others, struggling with criticism, or hesitating to try new things. Over time, it can impact friendships, academic confidence, and emotional health.
The good news? Self-esteem isn’t fixed. It can grow, with support, encouragement, and tools like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) designed specifically for youth.
What Is Self-Esteem, Really?
Self-esteem is more than just confidence. It’s how a child views their own worth, abilities, and place in the world. For kids and teens, healthy self-esteem means feeling:
Capable of handling challenges
Resilient after setbacks
Valued, even when they make mistakes
When self-esteem is low, children may internalize negative self-talk, avoid difficult tasks, or become overly dependent on others for reassurance. This can feed into anxiety, depression, or people-pleasing behaviour that continues into adulthood.
What’s Normal, and What’s Not?
Children are always changing. It’s normal for them to try new interests, abandon old ones, or throw an occasional tantrum. But when behaviours begin to interfere with daily functioning, relationships, or emotional well-being, it’s time to look closer.
If your child’s emotional or behavioural patterns are disrupting their ability to enjoy and engage in daily life, it may be time to talk to a professional. Seeking child therapy can help you, as a parent, make these distinctions yourself and better understand what behaviours need to be focused on to ensure your child has the mental health that will allow them to grow up to function well.
How CBT Helps Kids & Teens Build Lasting Self-Esteem
CBT is one of the most effective approaches for helping young people strengthen how they view themselves. It focuses on understanding the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviour and teaching kids how to challenge the “I’m not good enough” loop.
Here’s how it works:
Naming the Inner Critic
Many kids have a loud “inner bully” that points out every flaw. CBT helps them identify and name that voice making it easier to separate fact from fear.
Replacing Negative Thoughts
With support, kids learn to reframe thoughts like “I always mess up” into more realistic alternatives like “I’m learning, and that’s okay.” These shifts build emotional flexibility.
Celebrating Small Wins
CBT encourages goal setting and tracking progress. Whether it’s answering a question in class or trying something new, recognizing small wins can boost confidence fast.
Encouraging Assertiveness
Kids with low self-esteem often struggle to express needs or set boundaries. CBT teaches respectful communication skills that help them feel seen and heard.
Promoting Growth After Setbacks
Instead of fearing failure, CBT helps kids see challenges as learning opportunities. This shift helps reduce perfectionism and promotes resilience.
Practical Tips for Parents & Caregivers
As a parent, it may feel like sometimes out of your control or you may struggle to come up with ways to help. You play an important role in how your child views themselves. Here are a few ways you can help nurture healthy self-esteem at home:
Praise effort, not just results
Model self-kindness and realistic expectations
Validate their feelings without jumping to fix
Encourage independence in age-appropriate ways
Be mindful of comparisons to siblings or peers
If your child struggles with persistent low confidence, therapy can provide the extra support they need to feel more capable and secure.
Virtual Therapy Across Ontario for Kids & Teens
At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, we offer virtual CBT-based therapy for children and teens across Ontario. Whether you're in Barrie, Newmarket, Bradford, Collingwood, or anywhere in the province, our therapists can help your child build self-worth and emotional strength from the comfort of your home.
We work closely with both youth and parents to create a safe, collaborative space for healing and growth.
Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem, One Step at a Time
Self-esteem isn't something your child either has or doesn’t, it’s something that can be nurtured, shaped, and strengthened with the right tools and support. If you’re concerned about your child’s confidence, we’re here to help.
Contact us today to book a free 15-minute consultation today to learn how CBT therapy can support your child’s emotional health and self-esteem.
