When Your Child Won’t Go to School: How CBT Can Help
School can sometimes feel overwhelming for children. Academic pressure, social challenges, or emotional stress can make the idea of attending school feel impossible. As a parent, it can be distressing and exhausting trying to convince your child to go when they see school as something negative or scary. The good news is that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help children understand and reframe these thoughts and emotions, making school feel more manageable and even positive again. It supports children in identifying the fears, worries, or beliefs behind their behaviour, and replacing them with healthier ways of thinking and coping.
Understanding School Refusal
Children may refuse to go to school for many reasons, such as:
Anxiety: Worry about separation, social situations, or bullying.
Academic struggles: Difficulty concentrating, low motivation, or frustration with schoolwork.
Stressful life events: A move, family conflict, or changes at home.
Learning or behavioural challenges: Trouble keeping up or expressing emotions appropriately.
These experiences can cause children to develop negative beliefs about school, associating it with stress instead of safety or belonging. Your child doesn’t need a diagnosis to benefit from CBT therapy. The goal is to help them reshape these thoughts so school feels less threatening and more achievable.
How CBT Therapy can Help
If your child is showing signs of reluctance or has already begun avoiding school, you don’t have to handle it alone. CBT therapy provides both children and parents with practical strategies to manage emotions and build consistency.
CBT focuses on recognizing the link between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. With guidance from a trained child therapist, your child learns to:
Name and understand the thoughts that drive their school avoidance.
Recognize how those thoughts impact feelings and behaviour.
Replace negative thinking with realistic, balanced perspectives.
For instance, if your child fears being judged by classmates, CBT can help them identify where that fear comes from and gradually build confidence through small, structured exposure to social situations.
Modes of CBT Therapy for Children
Every child is different, so therapy can take several forms depending on your family’s needs:
One-on-one sessions: The therapist works directly with the child to identify triggers and build coping tools.
Parent–child sessions: Encourage collaboration and help parents reinforce progress at home.
Family therapy: Involves parents, siblings, or close relatives to strengthen family communication and understanding.
At Healing Voices Psychotherapy, our therapists understand the emotional and behavioural complexity behind school refusal. Healing starts by finding the approach that best supports your child’s unique needs and helps them rebuild confidence in the school environment.
You Can Get Through this
Attempting to convince your child to attend something they think and feel is bad can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. CBT Therapy can help your child change how they think and feel about school while giving you tools to support them long-term.
If you’re ready to take the next step for your child toward recognizing their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, contact us to book a free 15-minute consultation with one of our child CBT therapists therapists today. Let’s work together to help your family move forward with compassion and balance.
